The reason you are not converting prospects isn’t the length of your sentences.
The problem is the connection.
Prospects are not short on time.
Time can be made if there is more perceived value going on in the current moment than the anticipated value in the next.
An elevator pitch was originally designed to spit out the product/service as fast as possible.
A fast delivery with the hope that you could speak within a prospects attention span.
A strategy designed so that prospects would be receptive rather than irritated with you.
This strategy is all but dead.
There are too many options for people to pick from.
You won’t compel them with the verbal equivalent of a tweet.
Selling today requires you to be compelling.
To be compelling you have to hit an inner nerve.
Then you have to serve them IMPACT.
A “one thought wonder”.
A reason to dialogue further.
This may take longer than an elevator ride…
But time matters less when urgency steps off of the elevator with the prospect.
What would make you pause for a whole 60 seconds longer than an elevator ride?
What would make you throw your schedule off now and make up for it later in the day?
Start saying that.